Quest 46 - Giving Up Control For Control

The rain didn’t seem to let up. 

The wind was howling. 

The power disappeared. 

The trees were on the verge of snapping… 

The building that the Church just bought was getting flooded.

My heart was racing. 

In that moment, I was wishing I could do anything to get out of the situation. 

That I could take CONTROL over the storm.

This was my first experience with a hurricane and it was life-changing. For the first time in my life, I felt the power of having no-control. This was new to me as a kid from Illinois. Sure we had our occasional Tornadoes and those could be devastating in their own right, but this was different. With a tornado as long as you don’t hear the sound of a train, you are going to be alright, but a hurricane? There is no avoiding it. You are stuck in that situation until it decides it is done with you. It’s complete submission to nature. I felt helpless.

I don’t think that’s the only place we feel that emotion though. I think there are many times when we are faced with a crisis and it feels as though we are in the midst of a Hurricane. The wind is blowing because people are talking, the rain is pouring because things aren’t going right, the thunder is booming because the voices in your head won’t stop. At this point, you will do anything to gain some sort of semblance of control. Unfortunately for us, because we are so wrapped up in the moment - it can lead to some rash decision making. Which means we have lost control of our emotions and responses. 

Just recently I had a meeting with our entire This Gen Staff team and we talked about what to do when you are in a situation where you feel overwhelmed and you have to lead. I gave them 3 steps to take and I think they pair perfectly with week 46 of Quest and the scripture that we read. 

1. Slow Down

Peter was a person who needed to slow down in his crisis. He got worked into such a fit that he made quick irrational decisions that ended up hurting him and others. That’s how many of us are as well, our emotions get spun up so badly that we do things that we would never do with a calm state of mind.

 A lot of this concept comes from our series on the Unhurried life. As John Mark Comer said in his book, “All my worst moments in life come when I am in a hurry.” How do you combat that hurry? SLOWWWWWW DOWWWWWWWN.

Jesus was a perfect example of this. Right before all this happens what is he doing? He is in the Garden praying. Every single one of us would be running around trying to get out of the situation. Jesus though slowed down, breathed, and figured out his response to the situation. 

2. Step Back

The hard part of a crisis is that it feels all consuming. While you know it isn’t, it feels like it’s the single picture of your life. That’s not the case though. That's the difference between Peter and Jesus in this situation. Peter felt like the story was over because he was in tight on the picture, Jesus knew the story had just begun because he took a step back and looked at the bigger picture. 

Mark 14: 60-62, “60 Then the high priest stood up before the others and asked Jesus, “Well, aren’t you going to answer these charges? What do you have to say for yourself?” 61 But Jesus was silent and made no reply. Then the high priest asked him, “Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?”

62 Jesus said, “I am. And you will see the Son of Man seated in the place of power at God’s right hand and coming on the clouds of heaven.”

Jesus stepped back and saw the bigger picture of what was happening and what was going to happen. He knew that while it looked like the people wanting to kill him were in control, he was the one in power. We have to do the same thing. The situation that we are in does not define us, it is not everything, it is a singular moment inside a massive story that God is telling. That recognition changes your perspective. 

3. Separate.

The final thing that we have to do is separate what we can control and what we can’t. 

What we can control: Our response to the situation.

What we can’t control: The outcome of the situation. 

We have to do what we have the ability to do, but after that we have to trust that God is going to handle the rest. In a crisis, it does feel as though we have to do something to change the outcome. As much as I would love to say that we can, we can’t. We don’t have that kind of control. But you know who does? Our God. He can do what no one else can and we have to trust that he will. Separate those things and have faith that God will show up. 

The irony of all of this is that we really don’t have any control. We are here for the ride. Yet, if we accept that and we slow down, step back, and separate ourselves from trying to “control” our outcome…. Well then our emotions and responses get back “in control.” 

Mark summed it up well: 

Peter lost control in the courtyard because he tried to take control.

Jesus was in control of the trial because he determined in the garden to submit to God’s will.

In the same way - we begin to have our lives in control once we give up control because we are doing our part and God is doing his.